Listening To: Buck Tick - "Gessaki"
Wearing: loose blue pants with white stripes down the side, black Def Leppard shirt with a big blue face on the front
Watching: nothing
Reading: Time's Arrows by Richard Morris
Talking to: my cat
Eating: Cheesy Pringles
Website: uhm, go here
Thinking About: Just waking up throws me off on thoughts. *waves it off*

1. What time is it: 7:04 AM

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Carmen Michelle Clayton

3. Nicknames: Princess, Kitty, Dragon, Cartman, Satan, Girly, Chica, Breast Goddess, Freak, Spocker Caniel,Starchild, Space Case, and about a million others I will never remember

4. Parent's names: Michelle

5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: one (hahaha, you still don't know! I had a number candle, evil, I know. ^_~)

6. Date that you regularly blow them out: May 12

7. Pets: two cats; Thomas and Buddy

8. Height: 'eh, about 6'

9. Eye color: ask somebody who knows, they are nice, though

10. Hair color: Blonde/Brown

11. Piercing: none

12. Tattoos: none

13.How much do you love your job (1 to 10): Job? What job?

14. Birthplace: Dahlonega, GA

15. Hometown: Monteray, CA

16. Current Residence: Blairsville, GA

17. Favorite Drinks: green tea with ginseng, coccoa soy milk, and root beer

18. Been to Africa? No

19. Been toilet-papering? No

20. Been toilet-papered? No

21. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Big Yes

22. Been in a car crash? Yes

23. Croutons or Bacon Bits: Croutons

24. 2 Door, 4 Doors on a car: Four, I suppose

25. Coffee or Coffee ice cream: Coffee

26. Blanket or Stuffed Animal: Am-in-al! Wags

27. Dumper or Dumpee: *shrugs* I don't have to worry about that *smiles*

28. Salad Dressing: None, normally

29. Color of socks: White, white with grey soles, and pink

30. Number: 42

31. Place to be kissed: With Christian ^o^

32. Movie: Dune, Star Wars, Legend, Dark Crystal, Labyrinth

33.Quote from a movie: "You have no power over me."

34. Favorite Holiday: long ones

36. Day of the Week: Saturday and Sunday

37. Song at the moment: "Green World" by Project Pitchfork

38. TV show: ?

39. Toothpaste: Some off-brand

40. Restaurant: the Mexican restaurant in town

41. Flower: Red roses

42. Least favorite thing: Ignorant people, people who can't think, and people who won't think

43. Sport to watch: Soccer

44. Fast food restaurant: Taco Bell

45. When was your last hospital visit? last week

46. Favorite alcoholic drink: I don't drink alcohol

47. What color is your bedroom's carpet? Reddish-white

48. How many times did you fail your permit and or drivers test? 0

49. What do you think of Ouija boards? Nifty

50. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Living with Christian, possibly with kids

51.Who is the last person that you got mail from before this one? I don't know, probably some news or advert.

52. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No

53. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card: Hot Topics, Behoodles, Suncoast, Amazon Books, Walden Books

54. What do you do most often when you are bored? Bored? Only boring people get bored.

55. What words or phrases do you overuse: No worries, like, anyway, and just generally repeating myself

56. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away: Christian *hugs him tight*

57. Most annoying thing is: Stupid people

58. Best thing: Christian

59. Bedtime: Officially? 10 PM. But, I don't sleep that early, by any means

60. Who will respond to this fastest? Hmm... I have no clue

61. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond: Elizabeth or Matthew (Devin, I SENT IT, so, HA!)

62. What time is it now? 7:18 AM

MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN-DITOS

This amazing little, live bean, the size of your fingernail, has been entertaining and fascinating both young and old alike for more than 50 years, proof enough that they are harmless, yet entertaining natural wonders.

ElfEater.com

Plushie.. in Love? Or just an obsession...

Spit On A Stranger

My latest thing is for people to call me TIME GIRL! I don't really know why, just one day I figured it'd be cool to be known as TIME GIRL! I now wear 2 watches at all times.

The Earthling's Handbook

An online resource for citizens of the planet Earth

Deep Thinking and Deep Reading

Deep Thinking and Deep Reading in an Age of Info-Glut, Info-Garbage Info-Glitz and Info-Glimmer

Jenn.Nu

Are you frozen?
Do you feel trapped by the limitations you place on yourself?
Are you trying to break free of them?

Every day is a struggle to live true to yourself. You want to please your parents, your boss, your teachers, your lover - but what about you?

holloweblog

I have a feeling that my little boy will grow up and be a great husband and father one day. He has the best of both sides. He can be tough when he wants to be, but he can be soft and loving when he needs to be. But he will always be my "sunshine" boy and I will always remember the rays of sun he brings into my life each and every day.

Dumb Laws

Georgian Laws:
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Signs are required to be written in English.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

Woogoo

Websites that are a cut above the rest... They show talent, design skills, graphics skills, uniqueness, personality, and flair.

DigitalRice

Digitalrice.com web hosting accounts come with powerful features that you won't find in combination anywhere else. Having established a high standard of quality client services, Digitalrice is proven to be one of today's fastest growing Internet solutions providers.

Shinkansen

It goes without saying I had a good time in Harajuku. If anything, this place is a feast for the eyes. If you ever visit Tokyo, come here. And make sure it's a Sunday. This is one side of Japan you just have to experience. And make a beeline to the kids. They're waiting.

*yum*

I like pizza... cheesy and yummy.

The library KPs were fine, thankfully. ^-^

Too bad I didn't get to play, though... :-P

Ah, back to Geometry where I should be ^^;

Well, I just had the immense pleasure of waiting in the darkened library, praying to Goddess that the back-up server held after the school's power went out.

Let's hope it did, else I get the double pleasure of either helping re-enter EVERYTHING or figuring out how to save the files.

Strangely, the thought excites me.

Don't look at me like that.

Yes, I'm a nerd.

Listening To: Lain (Cyberia) - "Antidepressant"
Wearing: long-sleeved blue shirt, grey slacks
Watching: Morning News
Reading: Time's Arrows by Richard Morris
Talking to: no one
Eating: nothing
Website: Crosswinds
Thinking About: emotions

Listening To: Billy Idol - "White Wedding"
Wearing: black pants with grey and white strips down the side, white t-shirt that says "The Outer Edge Rock Challenge"
Watching: MTV's Cribs
Reading: Time's Arrows by Richard Morris
Talking to: no one
Eating: nothing
Website: Crosswinds
Thinking About: I love Crosswinds ^____^

*icky look*

I think I am getting a cold... after my continual insistence that I wouldn't get one... -.-

My throat hurts and my back hurts... and my head aches...

AND I'M STILL HAPPY, 'CAUSE I HAVE CHRISTIAN!

Dido -"Thank You"

My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all,
and even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall -
it reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

I drank too much last night,
got bills to pay.
My head just feels in pain.
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today.
I'm late for work again,
and even if I'm there,
they'll all imply that I might not last the day.
And then you call me
and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad.

And I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life.
And, oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life.

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through,
then you handed me a towel
and all I see is you.
And even if my house falls down now,
I wouldn't have a clue,
because you're near me
and I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life.
And, oh, just to be with you
is having the best day of my life.

Listening To: Dido -"Thank You"
Wearing: Caffeine jeans, long sleeved black "Black Crowes" t-shirt
Watching: 11 Alive News
Reading: Time's Arrows by Richard Morris
Talking to: Christian
Eating: Caramello ^^;
Website: Thank You; Dido Online
Thinking About: Life, the Universe, and Everything :-P Pah

Fiona Apple - Never Is A Promise

You'll never see -- the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow -- the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention -- to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch -- these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown -- to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention -- to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

Well, I believe my original upset with Blogger for the broken images was misplaced... seems it was Geocities, after all...

*sigh* I can't wait until I have my own setup, really...

Wowie, my first Blog from school...

I use a PC at home, and the school computers are all iMacs, so the layout looks rather different. I kinda like it, though I'm more used to my own, of course.

I'm hanging around the library, just playing around.

I'm selling candy, again. Suckers for Writer's Club and chocolate (M&Ms and Reeses) and Skittles for Key Club. I like selling candy. I'm rather good at it, after all. ^_~ I'm a natural salesperson.

So... why did I hate telemarketing so much? :-P

Over the summer of 2000 and part of the fall semester, I was a telemarketer. Boy, what fun, really. :-P Well, it paid well, but it was hard, really hard. Constantly calling and calling and calling... yucky. Of course, it was fun, sometimes. It was nice to have the experience, and it looks great on my resume to have a "management" position. ^_~

Listening To: Green Day - "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)"
Wearing: L2 jeans, orange/yellow long-sleeved heat change shirt, black t-shirt over it
Watching: news
Reading: Dune by Frank Herbert
Talking to: no one
Eating: nothing
Website: Spit On A Stranger. Leah, the webmistress of this site is a 15 yr. old who looks 20... I can identify with that. She's showed me that the entire generation hasn't been a waste.
Thinking About: I'm SO a morning person, really. I like mornings and getting up. It's looking "forward" to what comes next that makes me so inky... -.-

I'm going to bed, eventually... to sleep and dream of my love.

I just don't know when...

*sigh* Six hours is the longest short time I've ever known...

A Friend: As of today, I'm deleting my AOL IM. It was fun getting to know you. Bye.
Lady Tokyo: *blinks*
Lady Tokyo: Why?
A Friend: I decided it's the best decision
A Friend: It keeps me on-line late at night
Lady Tokyo: Do you know what that is? That's like... committing suicide... taking yourself from the people who like you...
A Friend: lol
Lady Tokyo: I'm serious...
A Friend: Well you are a special person and I enjoyed chatting w/ you
Lady Tokyo: That's it? No more...
A Friend: Well I can give you my e-mail but, it's not like I'm gonna really meet you or anyone else on-line
Lady Tokyo: *sigh* I guess I don't have the right to demand anything from you...
A Friend: thanks for letting me choose my freedom
A Friend: What's your e-mail?
Lady Tokyo: princess_tokyo@hotmail.com and the_ancient_child@hotmail.com
A Friend: I'll mail when I get lonely lol... don't you go dying on me....lol... see ya
Lady Tokyo: Goodbye...
A Friend signed off at 10:26:36 PM.

I can't believe it's almost 10:30 PM, already...

I was up until almost one AM, last night, got up at 5:30 AM, and was thoroughly happy. I went through my day rather evenly, with a brief stop at the hospital for a little check-up. When I got home, it was about four PM. I Interneted a little bit, talked to Christian in AIM, and finished Devin's blog. For some reason, I was exceedingly tired. (Still am, really.) I lay down in bed at about six PM. I slept until Matthew called me, around 8:30 PM. I wish I could have slept more... *sigh* I'll go to bed soon, really...

N. is beautiful. She is the quintessential teenager. Full of life and energy, exuding spirit. N. has hopes for the future. She wants to be something, she wants to love and live. N. does have regrets over the past. She has had her share of shady escapades, and her path hasn't been easy to carve. Yet, she holds her young head high and smiles. N. is scared, she is frightened that one day her youth and beauty will fade. N. doesn't want to grow old. N. wants to stay young forever.

N. moves with a self-aware grace. She knows that she is attractive, but she doesn't want the attention. Her body, with its fluid lines and curves, is kept poised, because N. knows that she is on display. Eager eyes follow her movements, hungrily drinking the sweet image of youth and vigor she offers.

N. questions her beliefs. In one breath she comments on the latest fad and in the next she ponders the ethics of cloning. Does God condone it? Would they have a soul? She breathes these queries with the same intenseness that she does all other. Whether N. is asking in worry, "Do I look all right?" or tentatively exploring the previously untouchable topics of religion, ethics, morality, and sin, she speaks with the same eagerness, yet she is almost reluctant to share her thoughts, always aware that her position is still changing in life and in society.

N. has large luminous eyes. Their color is irrelevant, because it is not what impresses the watcher. Their movements captivate, overshadowing all else. N. possesses her eyes, a rare talent in one so young. Many eyes set in tender heads fail to be used for more than viewing. N. thinks with her eyes, she feels with them, and, above all, she touches with them. If N. is watching something... it is known. If she is happy or sad, you can tell immediately - not from facial expressions, but from her eyes. Their liquid glance gives glimpses of her heart and soul.

N. is a young girl. Her life will be lived intently, with all the fervor and passion she can muster, yet she will never be so young.

STAR WARS NAME
First Name: Take the first 3 letters of your first name and the first 2 letters of your last name, and put them together.
Last name: Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and combine it with the first 3 letters of the city you were born in.

Mine:
Carcl Hodah

Friends:
Devru Niwar
Matpac Lefts

Rather interesting

Listening To: Queen - "Princes of the Universe"
Wearing: black long-sleeved shirt, black Harley Davidson shirt, Caffeine jeans
Watching: news
Reading: Dune by Frank Herbert
Talking to: no one
Eating: orange juice and cereal
Website: Shamless Plug For My Site
Thinking About: tired, happy, tired, happy, tired, HAPPY

Listening To: Project Pitchfork - "Alpha Omega"
Wearing: black tights, short black skirt, black three-quarter-sleeves shirt
Watching: news (seems Dale Earndhart died...)
Reading: nothing
Talking to: no one
Eating: coffee and a bagel
Website: Anime Web Turnpike
Thinking About: I hate school... no, I hate the people at school. School I like, learning I like, even some of the teachers I like... the students... I don't like.

Hella, hella...

I've given up on a layout for now. I've got a better idea of what I want to do, anyway. I just don't know how to do it without moving the blog to my own site, which I just DON'T want to do... *sigh*

Well, other than that I'm pretty happy. I just watched a new Daria, gotta love that chick. She's just great. ^__^ I talked to a few people, nothing major to report.

My friend went to Katsucon and was back online today, yay-yay. Seems he had a lot of fun, too.

Christian and I talked for a long time today, too, of course. ^-^ We had a lot of fun, as always, even if I was in a rather etchy mood at the beginning... ^^; We ended on a good note, though... ^___^

Well, after a little more web-surfing, I'm gonna end up in bed.

I have a new favorite band, it's official...

Project Pitchfork

Well, I shall say they share the number one spot with Deine Lakaien. ^-^

"Green World" by Project Pitchfork

Green world
Smokeless drifting over the green
A breeze let me fly higher, higher and higher

Waterfalls
I'm floating in
Cool crystal water
Purity all living in
Peace, freedom
Peace... freedom

On the ground
Green light
Wet heat
Wet... heat
Life is filling everything
Never silence
Never silence
Lovely sounds from above
Lovely sounds from above

Trees
Life-giving gods
Bowing to life
Never fading
Guarding everything
Vibrations in the air
Vibrations in the air
Flying jewels
Flying jewels
I am the forest
I am the forest

Listening To: Project Pitchfork - "Green World"
Wearing: big black sweater, long-sleeved blue shirt, black pants with a grey strip down the side
Watching: The Crocodile Hunter
Reading: nothing
Talking to: well, I was talking to Eleninare, and Matthew... nobody, now
Eating: nothing
Website: Geocities
Thinking About: I've got to adjust my site to the new layout... and I just don't wanna...

Clerk: May I help you?
Customer: Hello - yes, I'd like to buy some chloroform, some rope, and this gagging bandana.

Cop: It's so nice to see a kid using a wooden bat. These days it's aluminum-this and George W.-that.

I love cartoons... especially King of the Hill and the Simpsons

*Zooooooooooom - BOOOM!*

Listening To: The Gap Band - "You Dropped A Bomb On Me!"
Wearing: black pants, Harley Davidson shirt
Watching: The Jetsons/Flintstones movie
Reading: nothing
Talking to: Christian
Eating: chocolate ice-cream and "Sunchips"
Website: All your base are belong to us @ NullDevice.Net
Thinking About: You dropped a bomb on me, baby, you dropped a bomb on me. You turn me up, you turn me on, and then you drop me to the ground, you dropped a bomb on me!

Listening To: Rocky Horror Picture Show - "Never Ending Time Warp" (73 minutes long :-P)
Wearing: black skirt, black shirt, black hose, black shoes, and a pink scrunchie :-P
Watching: myself make a banner
Reading: blogs
Talking to: Christian
Eating: nothing
Website: Christian's Page
Thinking About: I remember... doing the TIME WARP! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

Listening To: Project Pitchfork - "Alpha Omega"
Wearing: blue pants, black/yellow Mad Camper t-shirt
Watching: some interesting program on the Travel Channel
Reading: Essay/Poetry Contest rules
Talking to: nobody (hell, I actually have AIM off o.o)
Eating: nothing
Website: http://www.netgoth.org.uk/
Thinking About: Why did I join a site for Goths in the UK? ... because I can!

Info Slut

That should be the name of my blog, really... the number one reason I'm online is for information. I often take the information, close the window, and walk away, never to visit the site again. Sometimes I don't even remember the name of the site ten minutes later. That could be because I can visit as many as 100 sites in ten minutes, though...

I just got done reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I felt this sudden connection to these women. They dress themselves in beautiful kimonos and apply elaborate makeup to attract business. I build websites and create icons to aid my search for information. Geisha aim to secure a stable client base, with a patron, and still seing many people. I visit some sites every day, have a "patron" site (AnimeGrapeVine) and I still visit random sites everyday, ones I know I may never see again.

Am I really so different from the geisha?

Don't mind me... I'm only comprehending what I read, and comparing myself to the characters is often the best way.

World Population Clock

If this doesn't make your heart stick in your throat... I don't know what will.

I stared at that for a minute then decided to refresh. It changes... and changes... and keeps changing.

It's addictively hypnotic.

(Note: There's also the US Population Clock)

I'm in yet another fantastic mood. I basically skipped blogging all day yesterday. I was cleaning my room, doing the dishes, picking up around the house, and... then, Christian signed on at nine-ish. We talked for awhile. Well, he talked, literally, and I typed. This uneveness shall be corrected soon, though. ^_~

I was asked yesterdy to describe my life in "book terms" - meaning label myself and my life according to the Dewey Decimal system, basically. Is my life a fairy tale? Science-fiction? A Dickensian romance? Am I a tragic herione? How do you answer this? It's hard for me... Maybe I'll tell them I will attempt their project if I can have chapters, and each chapter can be different. That will get me much closer. I'll blog it when I do, if he accepts. If he doesn't, I'm not going to bother answering. :-P

I'm entirely too voyeristic, lately... Everytime I blog, I skim through other blogs, both before and after I post. It's interesting, to get this random glimpse of people, people I may never know. The funny thing is that I'll never visit their site again, in the majority of cases, unless they blog again and I forget the title. Just makes me wonder how many people visit this blog and never come back... and even more, it makes wonder who does come back... ^-^ I've only told a few people about this site, and even fewer have the actual URL. But, Blogger has a nifty "recently updated" section. That's where I skim through blogs. I did try out their "blog finder," but I wasn't too amazed with the results. If I want randomness, I'll do it the easy way. :-P

The Easy Way... Christian and I were discussing inventions last night. We disagreed on what produced the better, more useful inventions; laziness or war. He believes laziness does and I belive war does. I can see both, really. I just think war produces better things, of higher standards. It's necessity that provides direction and not idle time. But, Chris pointed out that telephones weren't invented during war, though I don't feel it was laziness that produced it. I think there ought to be a third category - laziness, war, and inspiration/necessity (apart from war). Maybe there are actually more of them...

Crap. It's seven and I still haven't done my Spanish homework. I hate this language. Really, I do do do. Why can't I be learning Japanese or something? *sigh* Or German... I have horrible troubles with German, and I didn't know I did ^.^; My pronounciation sucks royally. You have no idea how I mangled even a little word name like "Deine Lakaien." It's funny, really. Right... :-P Well, I've got it correct now, I belive. Even if I don't, I can get Christian to say it for me again. ^-^

Listening To: Richard O' Brian - "Only Human"
Wearing: jeans, Japanfest shirt
Watching: news
Reading: The Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Talking to: nobody
Eating: drinking orange juice
Website: Joopy.Nu (I especially like her pictures section)
Thinking About: I wish I had a decent camera... and a scanner... then I could share my lovely pictures with the world, too :-P

Listening To: Holy Cell Phone, Batman! I'm not listening to ANYTHING!
Wearing: Gothic print skirt, black shirt
Watching: Pokemon ^-^;
Reading: The Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Talking to: nobody
Eating: Valentine's candy
Website: grep Sailormoon
Thinking About: I love Christian... we had a fantastic night last night. We talked, as in voices... *sigh*

Listening To: Toad the Wet Sprocket - "Desire"
Wearing: jeans, pink Powerpuff Girls t-shirt
Watching: the news
Reading: The Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Talking to: nobody
Eating: nothing
Website: Anipike Movies
Thinking About: Valentine's Day is neat.

Everyone seems to view this poem ["A Psalm of Life"] as Longfellow telling us that we should all be leaders, yet they all say "and everyone will follow you." How can we all be leaders if we all have followers? It doesn't work that way. Not everyone is a leader, not everyone is a follower, either. Some people are leaders to the core; an angel able to bear their cross, strong and willful. Others are followers through and through; blindly adhering to the brightest shining star.

Am I a leader or a follower?

I know the answer, as will everyone.

I am stronger than you.

Here's a surprise for all those that I've so desperately tried to explain to what my eyes look like:



You can see how my eye watered a little. I think it turned out very nice though, wouldn't you say? ^-^

You can thank me later. ^_~

The title of this blog comes from a Deine Lakaien song:

Bells From Another Land
Why do I have to leave
I just cannot say
Someone's calling me
From so far away

Sometimes I hear
The bells of another land

When I came I was dreaming
Dreams of a everlasting sun
Raised my hands for peace
Words of love on my tongue

Sometimes I hear...
The more that I was falling
The more I felt the light
Warmed my empty body
In an endless night

Sometimes I hear...
So I went into my garden
Watched the flowers grow
Laid myself on the warm grass
And death came very slow

Sometimes I hear...

Deine Lakaien have a lot of meaning for me. Christian introduced me to them, with "Return," a fantastic piece. Deine Lakaien is surely "our" band, and "Return" is "our" song... yes, we can be that cute. ^-^

Listening To: Pink Floyd - "Comfortably Numb"
Wearing: black tights, black skirt, black shirt, black shoes... I like black, get over it
Watching: grass grow... well, you get the picture
Reading: The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
Talking to: a freak (well, myself, OK? :-P)
Eating: cinnamon bun
Website: ElfWood
Thinking About: Hello-hello-hello, is there anybody out there?Just nod if you can hear me...

Do I like Napster? Yup. 500+ files ought to mean I like it.

Do I care about Napster? No. Not in the slightest. It could disappear tomorrow and I'd not care.

Moodmatcher

Aaaah... you're pining for that special person, aren't you? Here's a love poem to sigh over.


I do not love thee

I do not love thee! No! I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;
And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,
Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.

I do not love thee! yet, I know not why,
Whate'er thou does seems still well done, to me -
And often in my solitude I sigh -
That those I do love are not more like thee!

I do not love thee! yet when thou art gone
I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.

I do not love thee! yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright and most expressive blue -
Between me and the midnight heaven arise,
Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.

I know I do not love thee! yet, alas!
Others will scarcely trust my candid heart;
And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art.

Caroline Norton (1808 - 1877)

Most Myers & Briggs/Keirsey tests agree that I am E (Extroversion) N (Intuition) F (Feeling). This places me in the Idealist category. But, they tend to disagree on my last character (either J (Judgement) or P (Perception)). An ENFP is an Idealist/Champion. An ENFJ is an Idealist/Teacher.

From Keirsey

My Temperament is Idealist (NF)

Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

• Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
  
• Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
  
• Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
  
• Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self--always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers betrween people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up no more than 8 to 10 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

American Literature; 2:30 PM
scene: the class is reading aloud from "Snowbound" by John Greenleaf Whittier
girl reading: "The cock *giggle* his lusty *giggle* greeting said..." *giggle*
class listening: various laughs and rude comments

Am I the only one who understood that was about a rooster? -.-

Report on how the title of The Crucible relates to it's themes. [Warning: Spoilers for those who haven't read The Crucible!]

A crucible is a heat-resistant container used to melt or fuse metals at very high core temperatures. When it is used as the title of the play The Crucible by Arthur Miller, it signifies a severe trial or test. Many tests and trials are presented in The Crucible. The themes of The Crucible focus on conflict and the people at the center of these conflicts. Miller's social protest includes exploration into people's motives behind their actions, the definitions of good and evil, and the concepts of integrity and honor. All of these tie into the title: The Crucible.

Miller explores motivations and the extent to which people will got to achieve their ambitions. In the play, many characters have their motivations tested. For example, when Mary Warren attempts to recant her part in the Salem trial, she has obviously reconsidered her motives. She has tried to do what is "right." Mary musters a lot of courage to do this. Her courage is tested, though. Mary fails her "crucible." Her motivation to be good and pious is overshadowed by her need to be accepted by her "friends." Although Mary was attempting to convince the court that she and the other girls had been lying, she failed to continue her honesty and lapsed back into the charade when Abigail began to turn against her. Mary's honest motivations crumbled beneath the weight of Abigail's sinister ones. This testing of motivations is one example of Miller's use of "crucible" in The Crucible.

Miller also used the basic theme of good and evil to portray another form of a crucible. While some people do evil things in the name of justice to benefit the community, some commit sinister acts with full knowledge. There are two ways that characters are tested with this theme of good and evil in the The Crucible. One way is when the characters are forced to examine other people and decide whether they are fighting for "good" or working for "evil." Reverend John Hale's part in The Crucible is one such role. He becomes judge and jury for people he considers his peers, good, god-fearing people. While he views the girls as heretics and liars once John Proctor and Mary Warren come forth, he is unable to change the judgements already made. Hale denounces the proceedings, quiting the court. What Hale once supported, he is now against. He tries to rectify his mistakes. Hale sees the damage that the court and trial has created, and he also begins to understand what he has done in the court. Hale views himself as a murder and attempts to save the remaining few by giving them "counsel to lie." He pleads with them to save their lives with a lie of admission. Hale's energy and will was tested by the actions of the court. He was forced to take his stand, as he sees it, as a Devil's advocate. Hale failed his crucible. The second way in which characters from The Crucible were tested in relation to the theme of good and evil is when the characters committed evil acts with full knowledge. These characters had their very core tested, risking exposure with every act. Abigail Williams had her crucible in this manner. When John Proctor exposed her as a harlot, Abigail's front was weakened. She was no longer able to stand on her word alone. Her crucible proved to a few, including Hale, that she was not to be believed. Abigail's crucible forced her to flee Salem.

Integrity and honor are also tested in The Crucible. The characters have their repuations tested, their very beliefs tugged at. John and Elizabeth Proctor's crucibles are created by this. The Proctors believe their very souls are at stake, their beliefs are tested. Elizabeth stands by her beliefs, without ever giving into "the devil's words." She only bends her rules once, when her husband's integrity is at stake. Elizabeth's love for him allows her to lie, though it turns out to be for the worse. The irony of the situation merely adds to the weight of Elizabeth's crucible. Elizabeth passes her crucible with flying colors. She doesn't flinch under the attacks of the trial, nor does she try to persuade John to lie. Elizabeth merely repeats her desire for both John and herself to be good and pious. John, though seeming to crumble under the test of his crucible, does not. He simply goes about it in a different manner from Elizabeth. While Elizabeth is calm and quiet during her testing, John is loud and abrasive, even seeming to have lost his mind at one point. John's crucible almost proves to be too much for him. John's crucible tests his spiritual limits, his meta-physical core. The goodness at John's center triumphs. He passes his crucible.

The Crucible's many tests and trials relate directly to the title, because a crucible is a severe test or trial. While some characters failed their crucibles, some survived them, even if they didn't survive in a literal sense. Death doesn't prove a failed crucible. The characters in Miller's The Crucible experienced their crucibles in ways that related directly to the themes, as well. Tests and trials fill the The Crucible.

(OK, OK, the last paragraph really sucks, I know. -.-; Well, the whole thing does, though :-P)

I had a long conversation with Devin last night. His lovely girlfriend broke up with him. Well, he'll be OK, he's a Big Boy, he can handle it. Right, Devin? *nods* Devin and I hadn't had a long conversation in awhile... it's my fault, really. I spend too much time on the Internet. ^.^; Well, he is loved, and he knows it so... sorry, guys, Matthew and Devin, I don't mean to be a Web-aholic... it just happens! Honest Injun!

Well, now that that's over with :-P

Ooooh, Green Day - "Good Riddance"! I so love this song. ^-^ Punk ballads... you don't get much better than that. ^_~

*sigh* I really ought to go, like, get ready for school and all that stuff, but I so don't want to. I just want to go crawl back into bed and dream some more. I had the most fantastic dream last night. The only thing that convinced me it wasn't real was that it had been warm in the dream. It's definitely not warm, here. It's pretty cold. Well, that's OK, I don't mind the cold. I just don't like to ride the bus in the cold, or, for that matter, even go out in the cold unless the sun is out. -.- I'll survive, though, I have before. :-P

SlayerOfVampires: holy jumpin mother of god in a side car with choclate jimmies!!!
Lady Tokyo: hahahaha
Lady Tokyo: I like that
SlayerOfVampires: and a lobster bib

Well, I'm going to post my Lit. paper I did on The Crucible. I found it last night when I was typing up something else for Lit. ^-^ It sucks but you can read it, anyway.

Listening To: Queen - "Princes of the Universe"
Wearing: Caffeine jeans, t-shirt
Watching: time fly
Reading: The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
Talking to: my cat
Eating: Well, drinking coffee
Website: AnimeGrapevine
Thinking About: This is the coolest song in the world!! How can I hate writing for classes so much when I love to write so much?

And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading,
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame then I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing,
Help me to breathe

This is the theme song to the hit TV series "Serial Experiments Lain." The vocals for this song are done by Jasmine Rodgers (of the group BOA). Song composed/lyrics by BOA.

This song hits me hard somehow. It's special to me, one of my favorite songs. I really love the acoustic version.

I used to think I didn't like female lyricists, but that's entirely wrong. I love them... I just don't like as many of them. With male lyricists, I readily accept mediocrity. With females, though, I only want the best, the cream of the veritable crop.

Jasmine Rodgers is damn good cream.

Listening To: Glay - "Heavy Gauge"
Wearing: black pants with grey stripes down the side, Mad Camper t-shirt
Watching: "Jamaica; Hot and Spicy"
Reading: The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
Talking to: does myself count?
Eating: nothing
Website: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/mil.millington/
Thinking About: how do I manage to be such an absolute idiot when I all I want to do is help?

AIM sucks, really... it does. I hate AIM, mostly, but Christian hates it more, with good reason. AIM has been a bitch to him all morning, that's why he couldn't get in. Well, he got in for a little bit, then got re-booted out. -.- Inky program. He's here, now, though, so that's supermagicalfun.^-^

I wrote an email to the people at the Project Hello Kitty 98! site. Hopefully they'll help me with the "dismantling" of the CPU casing. That would be nice... I don't want to destroy my baby which I worked so hard for at that inky job. She will look nice with a new coat of paint, though. ^_~

I love the Travel Channel. They have some of the most inane shows. ^-^

Listening To: German Sailor Moon Theme Song (English Dance Mix)
Wearing: Grey Caffeine 2000 pants; Marvin the Martian T-shirt; old black sweater w/hood
Watching: "The World's Greatest Spas" on the Travel Channel
Reading: The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
Talking to: hmmm, nobody; waiting for Chris to come online
Eating: coffee and biscuits
Website: AnimeGrapevine.Com
Thinking About: Why isn't Christian on AIM when it's already 10?

Things I did because I was so extremely bored today:

Well, no duh, I made this blog.

I made a zip file of all the Magic: The Gathering and Final Fantasy sounds I have.

I added my entire C:\ to WinAMP... I have 2,006 .wavs, .midis, .mp3s, &c.

Began plans to paint my KP, like this. (Not Sanrio, though...)

Posted about my KP on AnimeGrapevine.

Talked to MistaG123 for hours. Mostly about... uhm, music, I think.

I also played FF8 for PC for a long time. I mean like two or three hours. I started a new game just to see the nifty beginning thingy.

I found this site: http://www.elfeater.com/

I think I did other stuff, too...

I talked to Christian, after he woke up from his "nap." :-P

I watched MST3K.

I ate, showered, and cleaned my room a little.

I did homework.

I was bored.